


Reading material (not) for bedtime

by kim1975



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, mentioning Mia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kim1975/pseuds/kim1975
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a bit of an odd way of finding out, Darren learns something about Chris.</p>
<p>MY SPECIAL THANKS to G  and C and BOSS ... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE !</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reading material (not) for bedtime

Darren and Chris are relaxing in Chris' trailer after some intense dance rehearsals they had earlier. They were all sweaty and gross and decided to quickly jump in the shower and get some rest before the actual filming starts. Doing this together in one or the others trailer has been an unspoken agreement for quite some time now. They were hardly alone in their own trailers anymore if they happened to have time off together. The only actual thing they still did alone was the shower and most of the time going to sleep at night because sometimes Darren stayed over at Chris’ house after he’d have too much to drink or was too tired to drive and then they shared a bed together.  
So now they find themselves in their most comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt, cozy up on the couch next to each other. Chris is rereading some of the stuff he wrote earlier for his book while Darren is just searching the internet for random facts and wisdoms. They have this comfortable silence going on between them where neither really has to say anything but it still not being weird or awkward in any way.

Out of the blue Darren breaks the silence with a fake cough as he turns a bit more towards Chris and  trying to catch the other’s attention by staring at him intensely. It's the kind of thing Darren does so afterwards he can  say he didn't disturb him, because he never even said anything.  
"What is it now Darren?" Chris asks playing a little annoyed yet actually amused by the way Darren is acting like a 5 year old.  
He remembers the moment Ryan introduced them and he almost fell out of his chair because of recognizing him from the Harry Potter musicals on YouTube he is so crazy about. Anytime he would look at them he was all but dreaming of how it would be to actually meet this guy playing Harry and now this same guy is sitting right next to him, invading his personal space because that's just so Darren. Actually, it's just them because even though Chris doesn't do that with the other cast members it's always been okay between him and Darren.  
Admittedly, in the beginning it made his heart start racing and his breath hitch every time, he slowly but surely got used to it. And as for Darren, he can be rather touchy feely and especially cuddly with other cast members as well but not as intense as with Chris. He won't have Chord, Kevin or even one of the girls  sitting on his lap for a long time but Chris sometimes does. They don't even really think about it anymore, it all just kinda happens. Like walking around holding hands on set, it's so common for Darren and Chris, that the other cast members don't even blink when they notice. They do it all the time, it became just as normal as bringing each other coffee or food.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" hesitation's shining through Darren's voice when he replies Chris.  
This does gets Chris' attention completely now. "Since when do you ask if you can ask me something?" he squints his eyes as he looks at Darren, who's actually forming a little blush or is it just Chris' imagination? "Sure I guess." Chris adds a little hesitantly himself.

"Okay then. Here goes," Darren takes a deep breath as he blurts out his question, "Does the first time... being with a guy really hurt that much?" Darren had regained all his confidence again when Chris granted him his question, so now he just looks at him expectantly.  
"Okay, You .. w ..what?" Chris can't help but feel the blush creeping up from way down somewhere to his cheeks, which he thinks must be redder than Rudolph's nose right now.  
"You're joking right? I'm ... why do you even want to know?" Chris can't help but reply.  
Darren just shrugs and easily says. "I'm just curious I guess. So, does it?"  
"Darren, I'm not answering that. I'm not talking about that with you. Forget it. No way."  
  
"But," Darren tries to intervene but Chris just rants on about how it’s his right to not answer that and that they should remain to maintain some boundaries and all kinds of other stuff that, in Chris' mind at least,  just making sure he was completely legit to not answer the question. Truth be told, he didn't actually have that big of a problem with talking about sex in general or even about his more personal experiences. He'd talked about it with Lauren and even Lea and Amber at one point but for some reason, not with Darren. He couldn’t speak this intimate about sex with him because of some reoccurring dreams and very ill-timed boners on set when they were dancing closely or had to sit real close for quite some time. Darren had always been the perfect gentlemen about it, telling him it affected him too or ignoring  it and acting like he hadn't noticed. But for Chris this was a different thing all together, not to mention the crush that still remains lingering in the back somewhere and will probably never really go away. "Now drop it okay?" he says while focusing back on his screen and resisting the urge to make the space between them bigger because he doesn't want this to be one of these things that comes between them. He didn't actually read or write another real word or sentence but just kept typing and focusing on his screen so he shouldn't have to look at Darren.

  
Darren just sighs and focuses back on his own screen as well. He did find the reaction a bit off for Chris since they could always talk about everything. 'They had talked about sex before right?' He now tries to remember if they actually had,  not really recalling lots of personal things about Chris, mostly Darren himself blabbering his guts out in a waterfall of words.  Still persistent on trying to talk to Chris, he tries again with a little different angle this time. If Chris was too closed or shy to talk about sex, he might be open to  talk about kissing. "Chris?" He tries again.  
A big sigh sounds from the other side of the couch as Chris replies "Yes Darren?"  
  
"I have another question. Do you think a real kiss between you and me would be very different and would feel different than the kisses we share as Kurt and Blaine?" Darren knows he's not referring to merely stage kissing as both know their acting kisses aren't actually textbook acting. Neither of them had ever kissed another actor like that before, both of them just felt so comfortable and felt such a great liking to Kurt and Blaine and what they represent to the world, that they agreed on making the few chances primetime television would grant them to kiss, as real as possible. This is one amongst a few reasons Darren is asking himself this question. If those were real kisses would it feel different without the camera's and without it being in character and scripted and stuff.  
  
"Well," Chris looks a little startled. He didn't think he'd get this question but he doesn't want to pretend to not want to answer yet again, so he takes a moment to think about it. "I guess it would depend on when and where we would be kissing. I mean... if it was for spin the bottle or something like that I think the kisses would be mostly the same as Kurt and Blaine's."  
Darren puts his laptop aside and scoots closer to Chris. "Yeah sure but what if I would just kiss you right here? Right now?" Darren blinks a few times as he remains still and not moves closer to Chris anymore. He is however still close enough that if they would want to, there could be a kiss right now without much trouble.  
Chris' breath hitches as he sees Darren leaning so close towards him, he swallows a couple of times and closes his eyes for just a few seconds because looking at Darren and his stupidly perfect long thick eyelashes just gets too much. He knows Darren's face, at least he thought he knew it but being this close all of a sudden, it's like he sees it for the first time. He can actually almost feel the other guy's breath on his face, that's how close they are. After a little over maybe 10 seconds that seemed to go on for hours, Chris opens his eyes again and takes a deep breath before taking Darren's hand in his own without really thinking about it. Of course in his head there are different kinds of alarms still all trying to ring the loudest, 'Kiss him you fool, Finally .. YES Just grab him and have your way with him. You know you want it. Wanted it for so long now.  .. No don't do it'. You're an experiment to him. You are gonna get hurt.' Chris quickly shakes his head as if it would actually throw out all those thoughts.  
  
"Sure I could just kiss you right here and right now. W...we could find out about ... I mean ... Your easy on the eyes and I sorta like you already, so I wouldn't actually have to call myself cheap or easy." Chris replies just a tad sarcastically and he sees Darren's eyes widen and fill with ... 'wait is that hope or even anticipation?' Chris thinks to himself before continuing. He takes another breath to get rid of that thought. "If you were like into some experimental phase of some kind or you really want to educate yourself or something than there are some things you should consider." Chris says sounding more like a teacher then like his best friend  with whom he's on the verge of making out with right now.  
  
Darren is blinking rapidly now. His co-star still remains as close as before while they are talking about this, which actually makes it a lot harder for him to focus on the actual meaning of his words. His eyes mostly flicker between Chris' eyes and his lips but he does try to really listen, he really does. "Consider what exactly?"  
Darren now asks hesitantly.

Darren blinking like that makes it all harder for Chris to prevail the voices in his head saying to go for it from getting the upper hand now.  
He swallows thickly as he continues "Consider ... for starters, feelings involved. Yours, .. Mine..  my feelings afterwards but especially....the why."  
he stops talking for a moment and just studies Darren's look on his face while he's saying this before continuing, "Now let me ask you something okay?  
Where on earth are all these questions suddenly coming from Darren?" Chris asks as he tries to end his thoughts on kissing Darren because his lips do appear to be so nice and soft and so kissable. He always enjoys kissing Darren as Blaine so.. 'for fuck's sake stop it Chris' he quickly tries to look at Darren's hand where their fingers had tangled together automatically as they always would.

Darren is a little startled by Chris' response. He heard him say he could easily kiss him but then quickly back out of it by talking about his feelings.  
Darren is not that stupid. He knows Chris and he knows their relationship isn't completely platonic even if he never thought about doing other things than that what was already there between them until recently that is. "Chris I don't want to hurt your feelings. I ... I'm gonna be honest, I'm not completely sure it's an experimental thing but it's just on my mind and has been for a few weeks now, actually and don't judge me or I'll never be this open to you ever again you hear me" he says while looking at Chris with a sincere look on his face but eyes squinting slightly as if that makes more of a statement.  
  
Chris glares over at Darren and wants to make a bitchy comment on how a perfect opportunity this is to judge him but seeing he's being really very open and vulnerable right now he immediately decides against that. "But wait what? Weeks?" Chris asks hesitantly. "What do you mean? You've been wondering about kissing me for weeks now?"

"Well not only kissing", Darren replies silently. "So has my other question if I'm being totally honest. Which I am."

"But why on earth? Why now so suddenly? After all this time and ... what about Mia? Damn Darren, just stop it okay." Chris actually starts feeling a little annoyed now. Not really at Darren or the fact that he's asking these questions but things like this are what tend to get his hopes up and well, if he's being honest to himself 'been there, done that. Far too many times already'.  
He's still in his own spot on the couch but now releases Darren's hand and gets up from the couch to grab himself a drink. He just can't stay there right now.  
  
Darren doesn't reply right away, partly because he doesn’t know what to say about it and partly because it would make all this sound terribly wrong and it just isn't wrong at all in his own mind. The fact was that although him and Mia had been together for years now and he did really love her on some level at some point.  
It was becoming more and more like loving her like a sister lately, they just seemed to be growing apart. If he was really honest with himself, this feeling wasn't new, it's been this way for a while now. Not really seeing much of each other hadn't made it easier but it made things well easy to manage. If he was honest, he just didn't want the mess and drama of a break up right now. It was not fair to her nor to him but it was the way he felt.   
Darren was very sure that if he told Chris about this right now he might get the wrong idea and that he wanted to find something or someone to give him a reason to break it off or even to make sure he just wasn't alone after breaking up with her, which totally had nothing to do with anything. The thought of being alone didn't scare him, it didn't even cross his mind before. He just hated to disappoint anyone and seeing he does still care for the girl, he didn't want to disappoint her either. They both just changed so much during his time in LA, his time on Glee and his new part of his life that was it. He wasn't interested in kissing Chris because of all this. Mia didn't actually have anything to do with all this at all.

Seeing Chris grab a drink and feeling uncomfortable about it all, he knows now he needs to take things really easy here to not mess anything up between them. That's the last thing Darren wants, to make things awkward, but he just can't remain silent about it anymore either.  
  
"Just ... One thing."Chris breaks the silence again "If there is a reason why you have been thinking this for weeks now, please share it. I'll be mulling this over in my head for ever otherwise." Chris can't help but ask because he really wants to know.

Darren turns a little red again but seeing he's the one to bring this up in the first place, he's not about to back out now.  
And Chris is actually right, he deserves an explanation. When Chris mentioned considering his feelings earlier, that was actually the first time he'd thought about that.  
He's been going over the how and when he was going to approach this subject but the topic being so mind controlling, it just never hit him until now, how it all would affect Chris. He knows Chris has a soft spot for him and it was obvious that this wasn't at all fair of him to drop this on him. But he never ever wants Chris to get hurt and he's almost positive this is more than exploring. More than experimenting but he isn’t at all sure what it actually is.  
  
"Before I tell you, I just want you to know. I'm sorry if .. it all came out the wrong way and I really don't want to mess anything up between us so ... "  
Darren looks away for a moment averting his gaze that had been on Chris the entire time apparently.  
"For the record, I really don't want to mess with any feelings, especially not yours or ...  jeopardize our friendship in any way and ... well ... I'll just try to drop it okay but seeing I still ... well, let's say I agree you at least deserve to know why this is going around in my head so much.   
I've been on .. social media, not Twitter but ... more like Tumblr and I stumbled on some artwork of us.   
Nothing to hide, hot and heavy full on artwork I mean and I couldn't help... no, resist. I couldn't resist so I clicked a few times more and landed on some fan fiction."  
Darren sighs slightly as he sees the stunned look on Chris' face. "Now before you start judging. I'm really very very aware that fan fiction is exactly that. Fiction. Trust me, I'm well aware but ... it's just, they write about this chemistry between us and ... not just that but ... well also the description of everything we or Kurt and Blaine do just seems so good and hot. And I'm ... I mean it would ... I'm just going to shut up now."  
Darren wants to add more. He wants to tell Chris the effect it has on him when reading it. He found himself getting hard within a few minutes with some of those stories and that's actually even more of a reason for his questions than anything else that he had told Chris. It did all start with the reading but very quickly became something different all together. Fantasizing on a whole new level while alone in bed at night. He hadn't watched any porn in weeks, didn't feel any need for it ever since he started thinking about Chris and what the possibilities were according to these stories written by anonymous girls and boys.   
   
"Seriously Darren? Fan fiction?" Chris is actually stunned about this explanation but more about the other things he voiced, oh yes, he heard Darren say them loud and clear and they actually also hit him like a ton of bricks. Darren said it was so good and so hot and of course it's those words that get stuck in his head. He lets out a few swearwords underneath his breath, shaking his head again as if that was a real way to get the thoughts out.  
"I mean.. I'm not easily without words but you got me here. Never have I seen this explanation coming."  
  
"Okay ... in my defense. In those stories they all describe it to be the best sex ever so why wouldn't it get my curiosity kicking in, right? I'm just a guy. They are also very euhm..let's say graphical and go into the details but of course I have no way of knowing. You should read it. You know …" seeing Chris making a bit of an almost shocked face, he just wisely shuts up.  
  
Chris doesn't really know how to react to this anymore. His mind is reeling. For the first time in a long while he doesn’t feel comfortable to be near Darren.  
He doesn’t sit back down but takes a seat at the table. There is still some time left before they have to go to makeup but the silence isn’t at all comfortable now.   
He clears his throat.   
“No thank you, I’m not going to read it. I actually really don’t know what to respond to this Darren.  
I ... I don’t want you being honest about something ruin our friendship so I’m not asking you to leave but … I must admit I am a bit …“ He searches for the right words because his mind is yet again shouting multiple very contradicting phrases right now.  
  
"Conflicted," Darren all but whispers the word he hopes Chris was looking for, because other words popping to mind were much more negative.  "Don't worry, I'll give you some space and .. no hard feelings whatsoever." The moment the words leave his mouth, he can't help but choke out a laugh. He didn't really say this deliberately so the moment they left his lips and he heard the pun, he added.   
"Sorry lame Darren jokes don't disappear even in awkward situations or rather especially then. But well anyway ... as far as I'm concerned we're cool Chris. I'm not promising not to think about it anymore though because ... damn."   
He keeps his eyes on Chris for a moment and when he notices he's not going to look at him right now, he just walks towards him and presses a kiss on top of Chris' head, lingering just a little longer and takes time to inhale a whiff of his shampoo that was all so typical Chris.   
"I'll see you in a little while C." Darren now adds silently before grabbing his laptop and leaving Chris' trailer.

Chris inhales sharply at the gesture of the kiss but doesn't really comment on it right away. It wasn't really out of the blue, Darren actually did this a lot. "Except for the lingering and smelling." he mumbles out loud to himself. Chris also scowls at himself though for not handling this situation better.  
"Conflicted," he remembers Darren’s' description of how he was feeling right now. Not actually the word he was really thinking though.   
Darren probably thought it was something along the line of disgusting, perverse or even childish. But if he was totally honest it could just as easily be intrigued, curious and totally interested to say the least, so actually between all of those conflicted might not be such a bad choice.  
He sighs and decides it best to let it all just slide for now or even forever. Focus on the dancing around later on will be hard enough without thinking about sex with Darren and about how close he was just sitting, almost begging to kiss him on the spot.  
"Fuck yeah, that's gonna make the thoughts go away." he says to himself in the mirror, Chris gathers his things and starts making his way to make up and wardrobe. The moment he leaves the trailer his laptop beeps with an incoming message.

Almost 3 intense hours of dancing, in way to tight clothes and in way too awkward positions, Chris walks towards his trailer just grabbing all his stuff and without even thinking about changing wardrobe or removing make up, he heads off to the parking lot, gets in his car and drives home, not really thinking about much but the sleep he so desperately needs right now.  
Two cans of diet coke and half a pizza later he's on the couch contemplating on whether or not he should go get that shower now or just pass out on his bed and grab a quick one in the morning. The first option however painful since he's exhausted might still be the best but not before he quickly grabs his laptop inside his messenger bag to check his emails.  
There are a few from his publicist, one from his sister and the last one that catches his eye is one from Darren. "hm weird." he thinks out loud.   
"He sent this almost immediately after leaving my trailer this afternoon? Oh no, he wouldn’t?“ Chris sighs as he opens the email and just sees two links in it with a few words in the header of the email. 'Please read then you can judge (if needed)'.  The first link being a picture, he decides to open it 'a picture can't be that bad right ' he thinks right before clicking it. Wrong, boy was he ever so wrong. The picture was one of the artwork ones Darren had referred to earlier and it showed very specific and detailed artwork of Chris and Darren or Kurt and Blaine, in somewhat compromising but rather glorious positions. It actually instantly makes his cock twitch just looking at the picture and thinking about how ... "Fuck. Shut it down Colfer!" he says to himself but the damage is done. The picture seems to have like engraved itself on the inside of his eyelids now because it's all he sees when he closes his eyes.

Taking that shower seems like the best idea ever right now.  
Making the water a lot less hot than usual, quickly applies some soap on his hands and thoroughly yet quickly washes himself. A few minutes later after toweling himself dry, he 's already in his pajama bottoms and a ragged old t-shirt on his way to bed.   
Even if the colder shower had mostly taken care of his boner, the mental picture never left his mind. He sighs, cursing Darren for a moment for putting him through this but then quickly turns off the lights and lays in bed on his back in the dark.   
Only another few minutes later however, he decides there is no way he is gonna get any sleep but there is however one thing that might help, one thing he convinces himself that'll get him to sleep in no time, 'getting off will make me sleep right?'    
Too lazy for porn and the picture already available it would be a real shame not to take advantage of this, right?' he again thinks to himself and before other thoughts can reach his mind he's already grabbing for the lube, rubbing some on his hand after quickly getting rid of the blanket and pants. "Fuck!" he hisses as he touches himself. Briefly palming over his erection makes him realize how hard he actually was all this time.   
The picture was already less apparent as earlier on and being so turned on Chris can't help but wonder what the hell made Darren almost question his sexual preference. "Nonsense," he mumbles to himself his hand still on his dick gently stroking up and down. 'He's not questioning he's just experimenting and you'll head straight for heartache if you follow your dick on this one Colfer!' is the next line running through his mind. He sighs loudly however when another thought enters his mind, 'But what if?'  Three little words having such an immensely large impact on him.   
He sighs loudly once again and wipes his hand on his pajama bottom still lying next to him as he jumps out of bed and heads downstairs to get his laptop. He needs to know. He'll need to know the kind of story that makes Darren's head spin and makes who knows what else stir inside of him. Darren hadn't told him this with so many words but seeing he's been thinking about kissing him and doing who knows what else with him or to him, there must be something to these stories unleashing some kind of reactions. He settles himself on the bed again and quickly finds the email, clicking to open the link before he can talk himself out of it. It's a rather short story, only 16 pages he sees, so now he really wonders what damage can 16 pages of fiction really do? He starts to read the title and the mention of E for explicit on top of the page is in fact needed seeing the story starts in mid action. The action being Darren giving head to Chris and enjoying it so much he's moaning and Chris can feel himself get completely hard again almost immediately. He reads on while one hand's already round his cock again stroking gently and not realy able to hold back as he continues reading how Chris is riding Darren's big cock, only to have him fuck Darren on all fours a few pages further. He can feel his muscles contract and feels the heat coil up inside as his orgasm builds up intensely fast. He's not even halfway through this story yet but still he shoves away the computer and starts stroking faster. The fact that he didn't get any more lube is not really a problem anymore seeing the need for orgasm is so obvious there was some fair amount of precum to make his hand slide a little easier. He sets a frantic pace and with all the images in his head right now that isn't hard at all. Him fucking Darren on all fours being the reoccurring favorite one without a doubt. "Fuck ... Damnit fuck you Darren!" he almost shouts out as his eyes roll in the back of his head as he comes and the white streaks land on his body while he strokes himself through his orgasm until the feeling gets to be too much. It wasn't the first time he got off while thinking about Darren if he was being really honest but it was by far the most intense orgasm in a long time.  
  
His head falls back down on his pillow and he swears out loud once more. "Fuck fuck fucking hell." Chris knows he's in trouble now because of the next thing going through his mind. 'How can a straight guy be so ultimately interested in reading about another guy penetrating him and ... Darren didn't really say but Chris knows him all too well so his wild guess would be Darren got off on this as well. 'How can this not be more than merely experimenting?' "Yep I'm fucked." he mumbles out loud while closing his eyes and getting his breathing back to normal grabbing some tissues on the nightstand to clean himself off. He knows now tomorrow might be awkward depending on how professional Chris would be able to maintain himself. His eyes close to their own accord only a few minutes later and another few dreams visit him during these unconscious hours. At least getting off did make him go to sleep.

 

  
After Chris disappeared Darren had checked his email and phone every so often. He was waiting on any kind of response from Chris to his email, knowing all too well he wasn't really going to get any. Chances are he'll have deleted it without even looking at it. He's questioning whether or not he overstepped, crossed a line seeing how utterly uncomfortable Chris had been that afternoon. But he had to do it. It was bigger than himself, he had to let Chris know how serious he was thinking about it all. Even though he wasn't at all sure about the what and why of it all himself. He was also now determinately questioning the way he brought all of this up on Chris, it was out there now and he knows he needs some sort of reaction, some sort of a definite answer from Chris at some point.  
He needs to know if there is a spark, if there is willingness from Chris to see where this might lead to. He's not really sure it's even all about the stories and the sex at all anymore. The thing is, that the line had been crossed between their already blurry lined friendship and 'a little more' status. For Darren it became obvious when he thought about it. Even if he only ever got to kiss Chris for real, he would know right? They both will know if they kiss and more stirs inside of them. Darren knows he told Chris he would let it rest but is now more sure than ever that he won't be able to. He crawls into bed with his laptop, opening the email he sent Chris that afternoon and clicks the links. The artwork, the story, he's seen it before, he's read it before but he can't help but jerk off on it anyway also like he did before. The images of doing these things to Chris and even more having Chris doing these things to him, get to him on an unknown level. He's never doubted his sexuality before but it wasn't ever an issue either. He has kissed both girls and boys and even had a few drunken blowjob encounters while in college but this thing now with Chris is on a whole other level. Darren is very aware of this. He's not imagining doing this with random guys either, only Chris. "Chris ... Fuck Damn Chris, yes, fuck." he mumbles as he gives in to his orgasm a few minutes later. Not for the first but not for the last time he's sure.  
  
Getting up in the morning was always challenging but this particular morning Chris couldn't be persuaded to open his eyes at all. The alarm blaring loudly into his ear every few minutes and he's getting closer and closer to having to leave now or being late at work. At last he drags himself out of bed, heads of for a record time shower and leaves for work, knowing there will be coffee waiting for him on set. Normally even Darren will make sure Chris gets his coffee fix but seeing he left without a word yesterday, Chris is not sure there will be anything for him today. The rush of images from the conversation and the later events come rushing into Chris' head now once again. The idea of Darren being mad or upset with him does give him a bit of a squishy feeling in his stomach. 'He won't. He's ... not ... he's Darren.'  Chris thinks to himself to try and reassure himself. When he arrives at the parking lot, the only space left is right next to Darren's car, so it must be a way of the universe letting him know he's already there and probably waiting for him.  
Seeing he's running late he quickly throws his stuff into his trailer, sighing in relief when he sees Darren is not waiting inside. The weird thing is that he's also a bit sad that Darren isn't there with coffee or some other random treat he usually brings along. This at least buys him some more time. He heads towards catering for coffee and then immediately to make up. He also grabs his script to do a quick recap on his lines.

The first scenes aren't with Darren so he relaxes a bit more and is even able to forget about it all for a little while, working with Lea and Naya is just so hilarious that all the uneasy stuff  and not to mention the flashbacks that had been going through his head all morning, got pushed to the back of his mind. Until about half an hour later, right before lunch break, he sees Darren standing against the wall. He finished his own scenes and is obviously waiting for Chris to finish like he always does but today it makes the images in Chris' mind flare up within seconds. 'Fuck,' he thinks to himself, not knowing why all this makes him so uneasy to even see Darren right now. Something needs to be done here. They need to fix this because it might ruin their friendship. "Chris, Are you okay?" Chris head snaps to the other side, hearing Lea calling him all of a sudden. "You have been staring at Darren for an eternity. Is everything okay with you guys?" Chris wasn't even aware he'd been staring and not been listening to the others while they were getting directions. "Fuck sorry .. Sorry. Yes, Sure. Why wouldn't we be okay?" Chris answers offhandedly but scowls to himself and squints throwing one of his famous bitch glares at Darren as he can see him laughing softly because of all that just happened before him. 'He knows now. Fuck, he knows I've seen it I ...oh damnit' Chris thinks to himself before returning to listen to the director and wrapping up this last scene like a professional actor does even when being distracted.  
  
"That's a wrap everybody," never did these words sound so good to Chris then right now. He looks at Darren who's walking over towards him right away but he panics. He needs a way out. He needs a chaperone, yes that's it. "Lea, Join us for lunch?" Chris quickly turns to Lea right at the same time Darren arrives with them. "Sure," Lea answers a little hesitantly as she can see Darren's face fall just a little. "I'll just grab my stuff okay?" She adds while looking at Darren again and feels ok again when she sees him nod and mouth 'it's okay' at her.  
"You avoiding me Chris? Should I leave you alone?" Darren now asks Chris straight to the point because he doesn't want to overstep anymore then he already has lately. "  
Chris is looking at Darren, not really comprehending everything he's saying because the moment he got close to him all the images rushed back into his mind and all he could do was stare. Stare at Darren's lips, his gorgeous mouth that would fit so beautifully around his cock. Unconsciously his gaze lowered towards Darren's cock because knowing all too well while being Blaine, he always wears these insanely tight pants, not hiding the outline of his cock even if he wanted to. "Huh, what? Sorry?" Chris actually shakes his head a little. His head snaps up towards Darren's eyes again as he gets thrown back into reality and feels hismself blushing furiously.  
  
"Are you uncomfortable with me .. I'm really, really sorry but can we please just .. go back to the way we were?  please Chris? " Darren almost pleads but a little smile appears on his lips nonetheless because he can see Chris stare at him blatantly just like before even a lot more obvious right now seeing they' re standing so close. He can even see Chris staring at his lips and letting his gaze run down over his entire body. 'He's definitely read the story or at least thought about it what they were talking about yesterday and it does affect him to say the least.' he thinks to himself not able to hide his smile but tries his best not to let it show knowing all too well Chris wouldn't react all that well to it.  
"I'm .. " Chris feels the redness getting worse with every second passing when he sees Darren looking at him with that little smile on his face. He was caught red-handedly not only just staring at his costar, but also at all his rather personal features. " It's all your fault" he mumbles as he turns around and starts to walk towards the catering area. Not wanting to be a complete asshole he turns his head just for a second " Let's have lunch?" he says looking at Darren questioningly.  
  
Swearing inwardly Chris walks off sure enough that Darren and Lea will follow him eventually. He can act weird around them and still be sure they 'll not bail on him. They know him well enough for accepting such behavior. But this times he just doesn't know how he's going to get through this 2 hour lunch break let alone during the rest of the day and scenes with Darren later on. He keeps having all these images of them together and seeing him so up-close just made them worse and more intense. He keeps picturing the both of them together actually doing all that stuff to each other and ... " fuck " he mumbles. Chris had dreamed and imagined all of this so many times before he wasn't sure this wasn't just another one of his own fantasies. The way Darren was reacting to him however, so cautious and almost scared to say something or do something wrong now, told him that it was indeed Darren that had put the ideas in his head this time. It not being solely his own imagination made this all so much bigger so much harder to just hide it all again like he used to do when he had a spicy dream of Darren before.  
  
When sitting on some stairs outside, Chris makes sure Darren and Lea sit first so he can make sure not to sit next to Darren for now. He finds it a bit lame of himself but can't help but feel the need to keep a bit of a distance. It feels like he could spontaneously combust at any moment if Darren should touch him now.  
Darren, on his side, tries to read Chris as best as he can but if he's really honest it's hard right now. He's giving a lot of mixed signals all the time. On the one hand he's still staring at him and at his cock or the whereabouts of it anyway, on the other hand he tries to maintain conversation with Lea making sure the topics are all as far away from what surely is really on his mind right now.  
Suddenly it's Lea who actually saves the day even if Chris thinks it makes his whole plan no his whole life fall in to pieces right in front of him. " I'm sorry guys but.. Chris, I'm going to be brutally honest here. Go find some privacy somewhere, tag along this guy next to me and .. if I'm reading the signs correctly you either have to screw each other’s brains out or have a very very intense but most important conversation together. Whichever suits you best but do it like .. NOW. This" she gestures between the three of them " is not a good match for this particular moment, from the vibes I'm getting here. It's bad chi or chai or whatever." She adds true to herself to always speak her mind freely. " So scoot and sort out your business now because I can sense trouble if you don't. She gets up from between the both of them and added another "scoot" before walking towards another group of people sitting nearby.  
Chris' face looks shocked. Chris is shocked. " Did you tell"? He asks Darren who quickly shakes his head notifying Chris that he had nothing to do with Lea's remarkable spot on speech. " But you do know she's right? No?  I'm really sorry Chris for being responsible, for making you uncomfortable .. " Darren's words our cut off by Chris almost shouting " Shut up ok. Stop apologizing and common let's go to your trailer... I guess Lea is right." for a second Darren looks at Chris wide eyed because he's not really sure what suggestion Chris found Lea to be right about hoping for the first one but counting on it to be the talking option.  
Chris sees the look on Darren's face and rolls his eyes " Get your mind out of the gutter. I want to talk" he says even if his words don't come out all too convincingly which is not at all so surprising seeing he would be more than happy to fuck Darren senseless. He swallows down a moan even thinking about it and he knows this is going to be such a difficult conversation.  
  
  
A few minutes later in Darren's trailer, the tension is extremely noticeable. The silence is awkward and uncomfortable and Chris is pacing through the place picking up stuff to put it away or just in another place to just keep himself busy, seeing he had no idea where or how to start this kind of conversation.  
"Chris?" Darren now says in a soft voice as he stands; right behind him, putting one hand on Chris' shoulder while with the other, he coaxes him to turn around and pull him a little closer towards him. "Chris, don't worry, it's still me. It's still us. Whatever you are thinking or feeling or experiencing right now, it's just us and whatever happens or doesn't happen, I still want us to be us, okay? I'm still the goofball who invades other peoples space, still the idiot that rants and talks to much when being nervous and god Chris .. I'm so so sooo nervous right now." He stops talking for a moment, just looking at his friend who seems like he's calming down just a bit now by his soothing words. Still holding on to Chris'hand he leads both of them towards the couch and sits down, looking up at Chris until he sits but doesn't pressure him into anything when he doesn't for the moment.  
"I understand you don't .. want to read it. You don't want to explore, you probably don't like me in that way so ..." Darren all but blurts out now. It's not that he can't handle the silence but what he really can't handle is awkwardness between the both of them. That's not them, that's not the Klaine and Darren and Chris chemistry they got going.  
  
"Seriously Darren? Are you really that big of an idiot?" Chris suddenly chimes in after Darren's rant finished. "Do you really believe it's about me not being interested? You are ... I mean." Chris feels the need to share it all now. It all needs to be out there, out in the open. He's about to throw his heart on the floor and wait for Darren to either pick it up and salvage their friendship or more that might come from all this or have him step on it breaking it into a million pieces, but at least and at last then he'll know for sure.  
"No." He says when he sees Darren wants to start talking again, "Now you sit and listen to me okay and you shush." Chris takes a few deep breaths and starts talking. "You can't seriously mean it when you say you think I don't like you like that. You fucking know all too well what a ... cr ... weak spot I've got for you." he weighs in his words not wanting to sound desperate or pathetic. "That is exactly why I can't talk to you about sex and can't just randomly kiss you like you suggested yesterday. For you it's one thing, an experiment, a question needing an answer but ..."   
He sighs as he can feel the nerves course through his veins at record speed. "But the thing is for me, this wouldn't be that at all. You kissing me off set, not for rehearsal and not for Kurt and Blaine, would have me getting my hopes up. Hope that I can't allow myself to have about you because ..." Again he needs a break because these are the hardest words he needs to say right now. He swallows a lump he knows is not really there but then adds, "Because frankly, last time I checked you are straight and have girlfriend. Okay, truth be told you might bend the lines a bit on the straight part but still ... you know what I mean. And me, Darren, I am 100% gay and equally as much interested in you and trying my best to hide that and remain professional and remain your friend.   
  
So ... You wanting to kiss me and dream about finding out what it would be like to have sex with a guy ... it's all part of you and I love you for being so open and honest with me but ..." Chris averts his eyes and casts his gaze down towards the floor now. "It's just not fair on me. Sending me that picture and story, yes I saw and yes I read it, but you already knew that, It's just so unfair of you ... so ..."  
  
"Hurtful." Darren can't help but reply. "Fuck, I really don't want to hurt you Chris. It's the last thing I promise!" Darren's words get cut off again by Chris who puts his finger on his lips. "I know Darren. I understand you don't want to hurt me. You got these urges and just wanted someone safe, someone you already have a good friendship with and all ... to have your little experiment with.”  
"Fuck no, Chris, stop it. Just fucking stop it okay?" Darren now almost shouts. "What you are saying makes sense but for fuck's sake you are not safe nor easy or someone to have an experiment with I ... I wouldn't ... I would never do that to you. I would never treat you so cheap like that. I'm not ... Fuck, I think I ..." Darren almost blurts out the things he knows are completely unfair and impossible for him to say right now. He quickly takes in a few breaths and continues, “I think I would just love to find out if that is truly what we are ... just friends. You know?   
No. Don't talk now, let me finish now please?" Darren says when Chris wants to say something again. "I know what I told you. I'm curious about it all because of the fan fics and that wasn't a lie. That is exactly how all this started months ago. Yes, I am aware I told you weeks but that's not true, it's been months now and I thought the fics would be a good way of approaching it but now I'm not so sure.   
There were so many other times I just wanted to lean in and just kiss you and ... Damn, I just ... I started this all wrong. It's not at all ... Fuck, wait a minute okay?" Darren runs his hands through his hair and he tries to regain his calm for a moment. He looks up again, gazes straight into Chris' eyes and their gazes lock automatically. Darren scoots just a tiny bit closer towards where Chris is still standing.   
"I need to tell you so much. I want to … but first of all about what you said before ... for the being straight part. You know I don't spin like that. Second about the girlfriend, that's true but also not really anymore I mean ... it's a long story I'm not going to get into right now. But I promise I will later and I'll tell you everything you want to know and answer all of your questions but for now, just ...” Darren takes in a few breaths before continuing, his eyes still fixated on Chris. “The last but not least thing. If I were solely experimenting or educating myself, I could see myself doing this with a guy but that's the thing, I don't."  
  
Chris looks a little puzzled at Darren now. "What? Now you lost me here. You don't see yourself with a guy now, then what is all this about?" Chris asks starting to get a little annoyed at the sudden change in direction of this conversation.  
Darren looks at Chris and takes his hand in his as at the same time he asks him to sit next to him. Chris obliges, seeing the pleading look on Darren's face. He can't just look away from that and can't find it in his heart to stay mad or withdrawn right now. He can see Darren is having a hard time as well, so he smiles gently and urges him on to continue. That's when Darren smiles back just slightly and then says, "I'm not interested in knowing what it would be like kissing or ... doing whatever with just 'a' guy." Darren emphasizes that to make sure his point comes across. "Trust me, I looked at enough porn and whatever but that's totally TMI, inappropriate and so not important right now." Darren scowls to himself internally. 'Good one, talking about porn when you want to explain that you like someone!' before quickly starting to talk again, "I have no answers. No big promises. I don't really know what's going on or where it will lead but ... I'm only interested in finding out what it's like ... to do all of that with you, Chris." Darren's heart is beating really fast now. The speech is out, his feelings are all out there. He looks down at their joined hands and is glad Chris didn't jump up and run out screaming. Somehow he knew he wouldn't but still it's not really a small thing that's going on here.  
  
Chris remains silent now. Once again he thinks he must be dreaming and will soon wake up to get shaken out of this too good to be true story. "You ... I ... I really don't." His voice is silent and a lot lower than usual. It's like he wants to whisper because if he talks to loud he'll get jerked out of this dream and into reality again. "What are you actually saying Darren?" Chris voices after a few long minutes of silence. He feels the need to hear Darren explain himself again. To hear him say it again so he can be sure he heard correct and it is if fact true and really happening.  
  
Darren scoots a little closer to Chris again and takes his other hand in his own now as well. His breathing is a little shallow and his heart is still racing. "I actually don't know what else to say. I..." Darren stutters as he starts squeezing Chris' hand and caresses the other's hands with his thumbs. He looks up again and stares into Chris' eyes now. They just stay like that for a while. A shy smile lingering on both their lips.  
Chris' mind starts reeling now. 'What is happening. He's so close again. What if he kisses me? What if he doesn't kiss me?' He's getting all these mixed ideas again and that is exactly why he decides to stare back into Darren's beautiful eyes and just let it all run its course. He stops fighting everything, especially when his whole mind and body are actually screaming not to fight it anymore.   
‘Why should he always care about the others. Why can’t he just get what he really want’s or even just take what he wants for once. No reason to second guess anything all the time right? Thinking is so overrated. Look at those eyes and those kissable red lips.’ These thoughts and words are interfering with the other stream of thoughts going through Chris’ mind. ‘So Darren isn’t as straight or as in a committed relationship after all’. He doesn’t have the details about all that yet but he just needs to trust Darren on this and he does. If there is one thing he can be sure of, it's that he trusts Darren completely. He told him they would talk about that later, so they will. ‘Oh, he smells so good and he wants me. Fuck. He really wants me.’ Chris thinks. At the same time when Chris is thinking, ‘Fuck it, I’m going for it!' Darren wants to start talking again. But Chris responds a little faster. He puts his finger on Darren's lips “Sssht!"   
He looks at Darren for a little while longer trying to take in all his features and then he says, “You know what, just don't say anything yet ..." letting his hand wander to cup his cheek. He blinks a few times as he feels his heart racing even faster now and he can’t help but swallow before leaning in closer but still not touching Darren for now. For a swift moment, he lets his lips ghost over Darren’s before leaning back slightly. He tries to keep staring into Darren’s eyes, trying to keep looking for signals whether he should stop and when he can't find them, he doesn't hesitate anymore. Without holding back, he presses his lips on Darren’s and doesn't really wait al that long to let his tongue run over the other's bottom lip, clearly asking permission to enter. When Darren quickly obliges by opening his lips, he dives in and licks inside Darren’s mouth, searching for this tongue. Chris untangles his other hand from Darren’s and grabs the back of his neck to hold him there. Not that he gets the idea he wants to go anywhere, at all if the moans are any indication, or wants to be anywhere else right now.  
  
Darren inhales sharply when Chris grazes his lips with his own but he's not holding back either. Quickly opening his lips to grant Chris’ tongue access and fully gives himself up to this kiss and to Chris. No doubts, no more hesitations about what happens next, it's something to worry about later and now is all about enjoying Chris kissing him. 'Yes, Chris is kissing me.' Darren thinks happily and the feelings along with thinking about it makes his stomach swoop. He's been waiting for this for so long.  
  
'Oh fuck Darren is kissing me. No, actually, I am kissing Darren!' runs through Chris' mind now. It makes him feel all giddy and happy inside and also quite proud of himself to have the guts to be doing this right now. When he feels Darren's hand sliding in his hair at the back of his own neck, he quickly lets his own fingers run through Darren's curls. His other hand unconsciously finds it’s way towards Darren's hip. When his hand is firmly in place there, he uses it to tug Darren even closer to him.  
The kiss gets heated rather quickly and there is no intention from neither of them to back out just yet. Darren takes this as a very good sign and feeling Chris tugging him closer, just let's him do exactly that as he follows Chris' lead and actually ends up in his lap, straddling his thighs.  
"Is this okay?" he hears Chris ask him when he leans back from the kiss to catch his breath for a second. "Yes Fuck, so so okay!" Darren responds quickly because he can hear the doubt shining through in his voice. His free hand now comes up to cup Chris' cheek and the other hand is still playing with the hairs in Chris' neck. He's letting his fingers run through them, but when he accidentally gets caught in it and tugs a little, the moan escaping Chris' lips goes straight to Darren's cock. "Fuck, Chris." he mumbles against the other's lips.  
All this gives Chris more than enough confidence to lick his way into Darren's mouth again immediately.  He keens at the little noises he can hear Darren make, caused by the kiss and the different touches. He's very much enjoying this entire experience, maybe even a little too much seeing other parts of his body are starting to react to their own accord. Feeling Darren sitting on top of him like this, lets Chris get all the images flashing of last night's fantasy again and within a few seconds Chris finds himself rock hard. He hopes Darren doesn't notice or if he's being really honest now, he actually hopes he does, because he doesn't really mind him knowing now.   
Chris slowly leaves Darren's lips and gently kisses down the other's jaw towards Darren's earlobe. He is now gently sucking on it and the noises he's making now are just heavenly to Chris' ears. In another flash of confidence, when he feels Darren move a little in his lap he lets one hand slightly roam over Darren's chest, moving down towards his lower back until he finds the hem of his shirt. He's putting his thoughts aside and just acts on autopilot, following what feels good and right at this moment.  He's totally looking out for any signs of Darren wanting him to stop if needed but other than that, he has the feeling nothing can stop him from exploring a little further right now. He tugs Darren's shirt up and puts his hand on the bare skin, immediately caressing and letting his fingers roam over the now exposed skin.  
  
"Goosebumps." Darren whispers against his ear. The kissing in his neck gives him time to somewhat try and catch his breath, but at the same time it's such an awesome feeling, he can't help but quickly engage in another kiss on Chris' lips again. When leaning forward, Darren can feel the obvious bulge in Chris' pants and he's sure Chris has already seen  or even felt how hard he is as well. They are both so turned on right now  'Damn so hot and we are only kissing.' Darren thinks to himself. He wouldn't mind this turning into lots and lots of more exploring but not right away. He leans back for a second and blurts out, "Fuck ... These pants are killing me. I really don't mean to … spoil anything here Chris, but ..." Darren is a bit overwhelmed by everything. Especially by the intensity of the feelings and needs a little breather. "Do you mind if we cool down just for a moment? I think, well ..." He looks a little apologetically at Chris now. Darren is really keen on seizing the moment and enjoying  it all, but not to do anything rash or too hurried now. He doesn't want either of them to regret anything.  
"Yeah sure … Sorry, got a bit carried away right?" Chris replies shyly  while taking his hands off of Darren's lower back so he can move away from his lap. He keeps looking at Darren while he's moving to sit next to him and doesn't lose contact with him either. He quickly grabs the other's hand as to prevent him from going anywhere but more to ground him and let himself know it's all real and really happening. He doesn't fail to keep smiling and feels a blush has taken course throughout his entire body now. "Well, the answer to your question, I must say it's yes." Chris suddenly says earning him a smiling yet questioning look from Darren. "Yes. Kissing each other when we are not Kurt and Blaine is completely different." Chris explains with an even bigger smile on his face.  
  
Darren starts to laugh out loud hearing Chris' words and can't help but just put his hand on the other's cheek, leaning in to plant a playful kiss on his lips again. When he leans back and looks at Chris, he answers him. "I completely agree. I don't think our real kiss would ever make the screen to be honest." He looks into Chris' eyes intently before adding, "It's way too hot.” He can actually feel the heath coil up inside him even thinking about the kiss. "Well, this happened." Darren says silently.  
  
"It certainly did." Chris quickly responds with an equally shy smile like the one he can see on Darren's face right now, "Any regrets?"   
"None whatsoever." Darren replies without hesitating even for a second. "Definitely no regrets. You?"   
Chris slowly shakes his head and doesn't take his eyes of off Darren. It almost takes Darren's breath away, the way he's being stared at by Chris. "So, where do we go from here? What's next?"  
Chris is feeling so confident he just tilts his head slightly when he states more than asks, "Well we need to go back to work real soon but after that, we are going to my place.”


End file.
